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When Looking for a potential spouse there is much to consider especially if you are a single mum, but one thing I never thought I would have to think about was asking a man if he could think as a father rather than as an individual. Call me naive, but I automatically assumed that he would have thought about the sacrifices he would have to make as a father and also would have carefully thought things through. Is this fair? Is this what we have to expect now as single mums? Studio flat?

The man still thinks of his own desires and aspirations and not of the needs of the children. Perhaps it is my eeman that is low but I would have trouble doing this; call me selfish, but my children have already lost so much and I simply cannot do that to them, is that really a wrong thing to do? They forget that you wont necessarily get the same creature comforts guaranteed as you do here, they forget you have to pay for medical care and school fees and that some foods like fish in Dubai is super expensive.

Thinking its all cushty just because your job as an ESL teacher provides you with accommodation, is naive. Those jobs are paid less than others and the accommodation will reflect this; top schools which pay the best, demand the best. You may be putting in greater hours over there, and if you are used to luxuries here, going without them for less money may not make you as happy as you once were just because you are in Saudi.

Many women would refuse a suitor like this but some would consider him, maybe because they are told no-one else will want them so they should take whatever they can get.

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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. The ads would go on to list the age, education level, even racial background of daughters. These ads were printed in magazines aimed primarily at the South Asian diaspora, where the tradition of facilitated introductions and chaperoned courtship were a common way to arrange a marriage. They still happen in some families who want to take a more active role in helping adult kids find their life partners.

Many of my friends experienced some variation of this rishta-proposal process.

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